As professional hostage-takers, we never take hostages unless we have a well-thought-out plan, realistic demands, and a clear exit strategy. Any comparison between what we do and these inane Tea Party antics are derogatory and unacceptable

Said a group representing America’s hostage-takers, according to today's Borowitz Report published in The New Yorker. According to the Borowitz Report, the group has "blasted President Obama for his repeated comparisons between them and the Tea Party Republicans, calling his remarks “degrading and hurtful.”

The National Alliance of Hostage-Takers and Blackmailers (NAHTB), in a press statement sent to Borowitz, said : “For years, our members have been subjected to offensive Hollywood stereotypes of hostage-takers as crazed madmen, cackling evildoers, and worse. The President’s degrading and hurtful remarks only reinforce those negative images.”

9/19 Luckovich cartoon: Hostage taking

The Borowitz Report, however, has reported that, in order to calm down the NAHTB members, White House press spokesman offered an apology : “As you can imagine, in the heat of a crisis we often say things we don’t mean. The President regrets any hurt his remarks may have caused.” The spokesman also assured NAHTB that the President has decided to resist his temptation to call the Tea Party Republicans terrorists, lunatics, or babies in order to avoid offending other similar groups who may or may not be associated with the NAHTB.

The Borowitz Report, which keeps us informed about such important and sensitive developments taking place behind the scene, deserves to be liked and shared by more and more netizens. Political cartoons from The Atlanta Journal-Constitution\'s Pulitzer Prize winner Mike Luckovich are also eye openers.

(Courtsey : Andy Borowitz - The New Yorker's satirical Borowitz Report and Mike Luckovich)